Jealous

Nicki POV

He be with them bitches. A voice rang in my head, I tried to push my thoughts to the back of my mind.
No he don’t. I retorted.

This mental argument continued until I was snapped out of my thoughts by Drake, himself telling me that he was going out for a little bit.

"I’m cooking dinner, your favorite don’t be late." I told him with a wink even though in the back of my mind I knew he wasn’t gonna make it back home in time, part of me hoped I was gonna be wrong and that’s what kept this relationship, if you can even call it that, I am blinded by his words, his charming smile, and the way he made me feel. I feel like I’m the only one and I’m not.

One thing is for sure though, his ass forgot I’m Nicki Minaj, you wanna play this game, I’ll play 10 times harder. That’s why I went out two nights ago while he was out, all night, it was his turn to worry about me, which he probably didn’t.

Flashback
Hey baby I’m going out for a little bit with my boys, is that okay?” He asks me.

"Oh yeah Papi, me and my girls are gonna have movie night and a baking session here. You know how I am with going out and clubs." I answered nonchalantly. Y’know being the great actress I am, it wasn’t hard for me.

"Okay ladies have fun." He said kissing my forehead.

I waited until I heard the front door close and his car drive away before me and my girls sprung up and headed straight for my closet.

This fuck nigga think he slick, fuck outta here. My girls and I followed Queen Bey’s instructions and went into the back of my closet and pulled out our freakum dresses. We all stood in front of the mirror checking ourselves out.

"Damn we look good!"

My main bitches exclaimed. We all cackled.

"Forreal we ain’t lost it." I said

Just as we finished getting all dressed up I heard our truck honk outside. We all looked to each other and smiled. Tonight was our night, the plan was to stay out all night, he had to come home sooner or later and then spend the rest of the night worryin’ about me.

I leaned back in my seat and sighed. Now I was having doubts but I pushed those to back of my mind.

We arrived at the club, which was loud, sticky, smelly, and just not my thing. We sat in VIP, drinking our MYX Moscatos. I saw this guy trying to get up here and I told my bodyguard that it was okay, let him come up. To my surprise, it was my ex. Me and my ex didn’t have the best relationship back then but now we both grew up and we good. We talked for a while, just reminiscing about the days in Queens. He gave me his new number and wanted to get together sometime. I didn’t tell him about Drake, why should I? He probably don’t say I’m damn near his wife to these hoes that constantly throw themselves at him and his dumbass lets them. My girls and I danced and mingled with my Barbz. We were takin’ sexy pictures, having so much fun. I decided to put them on Instagram. After getting bored and tired of this club scene we decided to go home.

We got back home and of course he wasn’t there, should’ve know better. We changed and went back downstairs, starting watching movies just like we were before we left so he wouldn’t suspect anything. I wasn’t gonna tell him, I was gonna hold this in until the perfect moment.

“And that moment is tonight.” I said aloud.

I looked at the clock, it read 12:45 am. I decided to take a shower and put on ehh something sexy, just to make myself feel good. I went back downstairs and stood at the front of the dinner table, just looking at all the food I cooked him, made me think of all the shit I do for him. I scoffed at my own thoughts. I went to the liquor cabinet and took out Hennessy, boy did that bring back some memories. I poured myself a little bit and sat in one of the chairs, taking light sips, getting more and more pissed off.
1:30…2:45…..3:20…. I sat as the hours passed by. Finally, I heard the door being unlocked and heavy footsteps descending from the door. I sat back in my chair, hair damp, lingerie and red lipstick on, sipping out my glass, waitin’ for him to turn on the light. His fuckin’ ass turned on the light and didn’t notice me. Where did our relationship go wrong? He used to notice every little thing.

“Oh Nicki. You’re still up.” He finally spoke.

I didn’t look in his direction. I took a sip from glass, pushed my chair out and stood up. His head immediately hung low. He knew he fucked up, but he didn’t care.

“Listen Nicki I can exp-”

“Look at me. I cooked this meal for you, in this. All of your favorites. So, where the hell you at? This drink, only got a little left, don’t make me break it. You know, Drizzy I wish you were, maybe if you knew how it felt you wouldn’t do this shit. But then again maybe you would. I don’t even know anymore, who are you? All those promises you made me, you basically broke every single one of them. Did I ever break a promise? Nope. I know the words and the lies that are gonna come out of your mouth before you even open it.” I calmly stated. I put my glass down on the table, looked up at him, his ass couldn’t even look at me. That’s when I decided to throw everything off the table.

“LOOK AT ME! Look what you make me do! Look how you made me! I never used to be like this! What the hell happened to our relationship, our friendship?! What do these hoes have that I don’t?!” I screamed. 

“ANSWER ME!”

“I-I don’t know what to say Nika?”

“Oh you don’t know what to say now?! I can’t fucking believe this shit!”

“Just stop yelling! And let me take in what you said!”

“Nigga don’t you fuckin’ dare start yellin’ at me! You made me do this! The only fucking reason why I’m yelling and throwing a fit is because I’m fucking jealous and I love you! Goddammit! I want to hate you so bad but I can’t! All these bitches you claim to be just friends with or hang out with, look the knockoff version of me, a wannabe fucking barbie doll. Which is why I don’t understand why do you wanna be with them and not me?”

“I don’t know Nicki.”

“You do know! Now grow a pair of balls and say it!”

“Fine fuck it! I don’t wanna settle down just yet! I’m 26! I’m still young, I wanna have fun! Don’t be jealous. I don’t want them. I just wanna party and bullshit.”

I blinked away my tears and gathered myself before it was my turn to talk.

“Oh wait, I’m sorry. I forgot you’re Mr. Drizzy Drake. Superstar rapper.”

“Oh don’t talk to me like that. I’m still the Drake or Aubrey you know.”

“You keep thinkin’ that Drizzy. For some reason I had this fairy tale in my head that we were together and everything was fine, you know the kinda shit you’ve been feeding me for the past 5 years. It’s all good. You wanna party and bullshit, go on, have fun. Just know, I ain’t gonna sit around and wait for ya ass no more. Good ones go, right Drizzy.” I said and walked past him, heading up the stairs, packing a little bit of my things and throwing on some sweats. I heard him run up the stair and bust open the door.

 

Drake POV

“Nicki gimme that!” I yelled and snatched the small suitcase out of her hand. I didn’t mean for what I said to come off like that. I was being honest but I can’t lose her. I still need her as a friend. She means the world to me and yet I still hurt her. Why do I do that?

“Ok fine.” She said and walked around me.

“Nicki stop! We still gotta talk about this.”

“What is there to say Drake? Just let me go. It’s obvious you don’t want me.”

“Nicki I never said that.”

“Ok.”

“Nick-”

“Drake just stop. There’s nothing more to say. It’s time just for us to go our separate ways.”

“Nicki.” I said defeated.

“Oh Drizzy. I forgot to tell you something. You remember that night when my girls were here and you went out?”

I just nodded my head. I couldn’t speak. I was losing her and there was ultimately nothing I could do to make her stay.

“After you left me and my girls got ready and we went out. Stay out almost all night. I wanted you to come home and stay up wondering where I was. But we stayed for a little bit and I saw my ex. He gave me his number. We supposed to hang out soon. Oh don’t be jealous.” She said and flung the piece of paper that had the number on it. I immediately got enraged.

“Have a nice life Drizzy. Good luck on your tour!” She yelled back as she got into her car.

I closed the door and punched a hole in my wall. I just lost the best thing to probably ever happen to me. She keeps me sane, keeps me in line, tells me when I wrong, calls me out on my bullshit. A dream woman. And I fucked it up. I wasn’t mad at her, I was mad at myself. I made her like this. I made her go out and do that. She probably doesn’t want to have anything to do with me for the time being so after my tour I gotta fix this. I can’t lose her. I refuse.

After Would You Like A Tour?

I got on the jet and flew to LA. The whole plane ride was clouded by her. I needed her back. I even wrote this Spanish song for her. The whole tour it looked like I was having fun and I was but I couldn’t get the thought of her ex touchin’ on her, feelin’ on her like I used too. I want her with me, I wanted her to come on tour with me and just kick it like old times before this fame shit got in the way. The more I thought about what he could be doing to her, made me more angry. I hated him. Maybe I was more jealous that he was there, by her side and I wasn’t, but who’s fault is that. I lost her. I lost her love, her sympathy. She made me feel like anything was possible. Made me feel like a king and now I don’t have that. I guess it’s true. You don’t appreciate or love what you have until it’s gone. Without her, I’m ultimately nothing. She is my best friend. Still is the person I wanna marry, but something holds me back. I don’t know if it’s the fact that I don’t think I’m good enough for her or if I’m scared of losing her. I don’t know, but I need to grow up and quit playin’ with her feelings and stringing her along. ‘Cause now I’m doing the same thing she did to me.

I remember the exact moment I saw her. I knew I had to have her. To me, it was love at first sight. I knew right then and there we were gonna get married. I even told her that.

Finally the plane landed and I got in the awaiting truck. The whole ride there I thought of her and what I was gonna say and I just kept getting more nervous. To me, at this point, it was now or never.

The truck pulled in her driveway and I hopped out. I told them to leave so there wouldn’t be a reason why I could leave. I knocked on the door and waited for her to answer. I saw her small self look at the door and sigh before opening it. I looked down at her, no makeup, black hair, sweats. Just like when we first met.

“Did you come by to get some of your stuff?”

“No uh I wanted to talk to you.” I nervously said rubbing the back of head.

“Ok, but I don’t know what there is to talk about.”

“It’s important.”

She nodded and let go of the door, walking away into her living room. I took this as a sign to come in.

“So, what’s up Drizzy?”

“Can you call me Aubrey? I miss you callin’ me Aubrey.”

“Ok. What’s up Aubrey?”

“I don’t really know how to say or start this but I can’t let you go. I just can’t. The whole tour I thought about you. Did I go out to the club? Yeah. Did girls throw themselves at me? Yeah. But I didn’t want them. I didn’t care what they had to say or too offer. All I thought about was you. What we could be doing in the bus or the hotel room if you wanted to go on tour with me and just kick it. Then I thought about your ex and what if you guys hung out? What if he took my place? What if he’s sexin’ you like I do, kissin’ on you, feelin’ on you, cooking, just everything. I almost went insane. I understand where you were coming from and how you were feeling. The thoughts consume you. The ending amount of possibilities. I’m sorry Nicki. I’m so sorry. If you don’t wanna be with me. Please can we still be friends. I can’t lose you.” I begged, pleaded and poured my heart out to her.

She stayed silent for a little bit, I guess letting what I said sink in. Finally I saw her mouth open.\

“Well, Aubrey, what is it that you want me to do? Where do you wanna go from here?”

Those two questions stumped me. I had no idea. I knew I wanted her. But how to make her trust me was gonna be hard.

“I don’t know Nika. I just want you to trust me and I know that will take a long time but I wanna be with you. This whole time of us not being together or talking was pure hell. Anything you want me to do I’ll do it. 

I just lose you. I can’t and won’t give up on us.”

She nodded her head, remaining silent. It was at that moment that I figured out neither one of us knew what to do or where to go from here.
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I really love this oneshot! I think it's the best I ever written! I hope you guys liked it! Lemme know down below!! Thanks for reading!  
                        ~xoxo Dessi